Tank city b##ch, tank tank city b##ch!  And that word edited is “beach”, because when I go to the city beach I like to see tank tops!

Ummmm, last night happened.  We’ve seen B units play big runs multiple times through the years, but I don’t know if there’s ever been a dichotomy of a team’s starters all being utterly unusable, and everyone on the second unit having fantasy-worthy games.  The world is upside down!  Then again, this is The Poppycockers we’re talking about, and they were down more points than the Dow Jones on Black Thursday.  The biggest beneficiary was Langston Hughes, I mean, Langston Galloway, who in his second NBA game after a D-League promotion went 19/4/3/1/0 hitting 6-10 FG and 3-4 3PTM.  Easy nickname bequeathed!  Galloway is now “The Harlem Renaissance”.  We gettin’ classy with these history references lately, yo!  With Jose Calderon a steaming pile of hot garbage (0/4/4/0/0 on 0-5 FG and 2 TO in 21 minutes – been saying he’s untouchable for weeks!), there’s no reason for the tankers to wreck their ship and straight Exxon-Valdez and pollute the waters.  “I can’t fly if my wings are melted off!”, Derek Fisher complained to Phil Jackson.  “Suck it up!”  Calderon is an easy asset to trade in real-life terms given a short contract shelf-life and the vet leadership (I’d hope) to be a backup.  If desperate for points, treys and steals, I could even see nabbing Galloway as a spec 14er add.  Plus you get style points like this!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Slim & JB recap NBA action from last night including Jusuf Nurkic’s first start, have a very special guest in Andy Behrens from Yahoo join the show to talk Bulls and writing, preview Thursday night’s games including our 30-Point Challenge picks, then wrap up the week at the movies.

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Yesterday afternoon was a frenzy!  A frenzy because no Mozzy!  About as crazy as I was last Saturday about Fozzy!  Go Panthers!

Our prayers have been answered with Timofey Mozgov getting shipped out to Cleveland for two first round picks.  Two first-rounders?!  For Healthcare.Mozgov?!  Well, they’re like controlled picks from Memphis in some sort of hooblah where all that matters is they’re not going to be very high.  Not as high as say, Afroman!  Or 16th!  That’s where Jusuf Nurkic went in the first round this Summer, originally picked by the Bulls then traded.  Good thing for Nurkic!  It originally seemed really muddied there in Denver at C, but JaVale McGee just can’t get healthy, and Mozgov couldn’t go 3 minutes before getting multiple fouls.  So out ya go TinaFey, and huge role ahead for Nurkic!  At least 35 minutes every night given how good he’s been!  Andddddddd, only 22 minutes for 8/4/3/1/2 last night.  Still respectable numbers though!  Given one of his made FGs was this.  To quote my favorite sound from 90s gaming, “Oopsie!”  Or whatever he really says…  Anyway, J.J. Hickson is still there to give us a headache, as he went 11/10/1/2/1 in 30 solid minutes.  Yikes.  I still love me some Nurkic, and to the patient man goes the spoils!  Something like that…  Kinda lost in all of this yesterday was Hickson’s deep league value shooting up.  He’s not a terrible player for some Pts/Reb relief in a very poor man’s Zach Randolph kinda way now that minutes should be coming.  While many owners are mad they didn’t scoop Nurkic up quick enough, shoot out some buy lows with who you would’ve dropped, and maybe last night’s dud is enough to sneak Jamba Jus into your Mini-mall.  That sounds so wrong…  Here’s what else went down on a busy night of NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brandon Jennings is terrible.

I pretty much wanted to kill the open right there, but “journalistic integrity” or whatever…  In a horrific shooting display, BJ flat out sucked for 5-18 shooting and it was equally as painful to watch as Josh Smith at shootaround.  A few fadeaway treys, bricked layups… You name it.  I honestly think a big part of the Pistons game plan right now is have BJ shoot like a hot dog, and rely on the O-boards from Andre Drummond and Greg Monroe.  Drummo’s OREB gave me an O-face last night, that’s for sure!  Racked up 7 OREB and Monroe had 5, and I’m guessing almost all of those came on BJ’s bricks.  If terrible shots leading to OREB and putbacks counted as assists, Jennings would be John Stockton.  Of course, sometimes there’s some Flubber on the ball and it goes in, but this is an immense sell-high window.  Probably a Sportscenter Top-10 layup, and has been playing fairly well lately.  Even D.J. Augustin at 8-18 FG 19/0/5 couldn’t get Stan Van to flip-flop PG down the stretch.  We’re used to seeing flip-flops!  Stan Van coaching like Laguna Beach.  Jennings is a big name on the trading block as well, and the Pistons aren’t hesitant to give players away, as in cutting J Smoove.  One rumor I read was Houston…  They would be the worst shooting team in NBA history!  Success for Houston would obviously be bringing in two guys from a former 5-23 team… Then again, the Pistons just won on the road in San Antonio for their 6th straight, and they are – you won’t believe this – now 3.5 games out of a playoff spot in the East.  Hah!  Trade or no trade, labradoodle-city Jennings could probably fetch an interesting ransom in the fantasy market as this current run is unsustainable.  Here’s what else went down in last night’s two games:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Logo

Happy 2015 to the RCL world!  Just like celebrating a new year with your family, ol’ gramps has gotta perk up and remind everyone that he is above you and your elder.  “Back in my day, we didn’t InstantGram to show pictures to anyone and we had to drink bootleg moonshine!”

And on our calendar flip, we get to look up at Pops’s Team running away with the RCL lead, racking up an 8-1 victory to move to 69-20-1 on the season good for 139 RCL points.  micoolj79’s Team is in second with 128 points, and OH! – lookie here – Slim’s Team in his RCL doing work with a 62-27-1 record good for 125 RCL points and third on the leaderboard.

We younguns are all hoping Pops calms it down a bit in Week 11 in the The 2014-15 RCL Master Standings table, and here’s how the action went down in week 10 across our 12 RCL Leagues:

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Some NBA GMs had a case of the Mondays, that’s for sure!  “Uhhhh, I’m not ready to be back at work, let’s do something nuts just to make it look like we’re working…”

In a blockbuster three-team trade, the New York Poppycockers salary dumped Iman Shumpert and J.R. Smith to the Cavs.  More pressure on Blatt!  Now he has to win with Knicks Outkasts… “I like the way you move!”  The last NBA coach who said that to Smith was George Karl.  Shumpert is likely going to start at the 2 with Smith becoming a 6th man.  Both of them must have had a redonkulous party to be heading to a winner.  Don’t invite Plaxico or Felton!  Then there’s Dion Waiters to the Thunder.  Meh.  Not like most leagues were using Waiters anyway, but he takes a minor hit in deepers.  Reggie Jackson should still lead the second unit in shots, so I’m not that excited.  The Knicks picked up three guys – Captain Kirk (but not the Hinrich one), some European with a lot of hair, but then an interesting name in Lance Thomas.  I almost made a cracker joke, but we’re gonna gloss right over that and reminiscence in some games he had earlier in the year on a depleted Thunder front line – 12/8/2 (Nov 1), 14/5/1 (Nov 4), the fluky 7/13/6 (Nov 12).  And depleted is baked right into the Knicks funnel cake right now.  The Poppycockers might as well see what they have at some point, so in uber deep leagues if you need someone with any sort of upside, I’d be sure and star LT on your wire.  Here’s what else went down on a crazy Monday for fantasy basketball:

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Martyball still illin’!  A 6-3 win keeps him 6.5 games ahead of the pack, but Slim had a monster 9-0 win to vault him into 4th.  Reppin’ Razzball well!  Unlike me…  Built for the future!  I could us a Back to the Future right now…  Another week with some big FAAB bidding and the playoff seeding looking like a 7-team race for 6 spots – here’s how week 10 went down:

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Happy 2015 Razzball Nation!

I for one am elated the Holidays have wrapped up (big thanks again to Slim for his recap at the end of last week!), and ready to buckle down for the second half of the fantasy regular season in H2H.  My new year’s resolutions have been made – use Twitter more, swear a little less, work out a lot more…  But this gosh darn knee!  Eh, I’m pretty flippin’ flabby anyway…  Fiddlesticks!  Might as well shut it down…

And the talk for Carmelo Anthony‘s shutdown continually grow like a wave across the second level at Madison Square Garden.  Not like they have anything else to do…  Next new year’s resolution – less dot dot dots!  The 5-31 Knickerbockers (I’m calling them The Poppycockers the rest of the way) have been worse than even Spike Lee could have imagined after reading reviews of his Oldboy remake.  “Brooooooo – Liiiinnnnn!”  Some dude named Bondy (shakeny, not stirredy) from The New York Daily News reported Melo’s knee will need a minor surgery, so it’s not like Melo is just playing through general oldboy-ness.  He’s missed the last few after being awful for two straight to end December, so trading him off in fantasy leagues is redonk tough.  Last we checked in (mostly through comments), I’ve maintained I’m not giving him away, but it’s fairly close.  He’s about at the “leave on the curb” status rather than “driving him all the way to the dumpster.”  My best advice would be to find a need for your team, and go for a guy that hits that need without a huge overall rank – i.e. Trevor Ariza for some steals and treys.  Might not get Ariza these days, but yeah, something like that.  And I still think you gotta try and hold out until Melo plays a few in a row – he’s traveling with the team for the next two games so he’s likely to suit up at least once.  Here’s what else went on in fantasy basketball since we flipped the calendar:

Please, blog, may I have some more?