JB – The 3rd Annual Razzies are here! With the growing success from the 2013-14 Razzies and the 2014-15 Razzies, all of Hollywood is here for the event, traffic is blocked off in all directions, this is the ONLY place to be if you’re any sort of famous, isn’t that right Slim?!

Slim – …You’re not famous.

JB – Oh OK, just because you’re a national treasure in Australia and all I do is run this fubar Razzball Basketball outfit it makes you more famous than me?!

Slim just subtly shakes his head, with just enough of a menacing look…

JB – Anyyyyyyyyyyyway, all of the NBA world is here tonight, because even though the season is still going on, no one important is still playing isn’t that right Slim?!

Slim – Warriors are still rollin’ em out there!

JB starts stroking Slim’s beard again

JB – You’re smart…

Slim – Dammit, are you gonna do this EVERY friggin’ time at these things?!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[Reposting to the top as polls close tonight! Be sure and submit your votes, and if you’ve already voted – hell, submit em one more time, two more times, a million more times while voting is up! Let’s win us some Razzies!]

The 3rd Annual Razzies are upon us! The 2013-14 Razzies and the 2014-15 Razzies were such big successes that we’re in negotiations with TNT for broadcast rights to the 4th Annual Razzies next year. It’s a flat out bidding war!

Sometimes our only outlet to absolutely-crushing injuries and inept misery in fantasy basketball is to look forward to an award ceremony celebrating the worst of the worst. The scrubbiest of the scrubs. The schlubbiest of the schlubs. This has quickly started to sound like a Yiddish vocal exercise. You know what they say – the Jews run Hollywood! Where’s Slim’s pronunciation of C.J. McCollum when you need it!

Our decorated panel has painstakingly put together their nominations for our Razzie categories below, and we went out and interviewed every last one of the nominees for their reactions. Hey, if we can interview Nick Van Exel, we can do anything! We rely on YOU Razzball Nation, to vote for each of the categories to lay claim to the most frustrating players/coaches/teams of 2015-16. Polls will be open until Tuesday night (April 4), so vent your catharsis into the voting booth, which we all know you’re going to have to do for the Presidential election later this year… There’s another worst of the worst! So vote once, vote several times, vote as much as you’d like, and let’s get pumped to hand out some Razzies next Thursday morning!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s some sort of postseason going on, Stephen Curry is flying through the air, Klay Thompson is luckily OK after a Vincent Van Gough scare, there’s only two teams left…  but all of that is less exciting to us than the new blood to enter the 2015-16 Fantasy player pool!  As we’ve done for the second straight year (is two years considered a tradition yet?!), Slim and I mocked the first round of the 2015 NBA Draft by alternating picks for their respective teams with a fantasy outlook for each rook.  2014 didn’t… um…  go quite to plan.  But hey!  We got a couple right and this year doesn’t quite offer the top-to-bottom talent as 2014.  With a little bit more of an even playing field, I have a feeling this Draft will feature even more trades and more surprising risers and fallers…  Hopefully we get a good portion of the lottery right!  The optimist in me is ready ta go!  Here’s our 2015 Mock NBA Draft:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

JB – We’re back with our second annual NBA Razzies, awarding the worst of the worst from the 2014-15 NBA Season!  Last year’s ceremony was a pop culture sensation, a slamming of the dysfunctional Bucks and the [former] Luminescent Lithuanian.  Speaking of luminescent, I’m here with Slim who looks radiant.  What is that, some Oil of Olay exfoliant you’ve been using lately?

Slim – Really…?  I mean, that’s my intro…?  Really…?

JB – Yes, “really” as in I’m “really” happy with the turnout at the polls, as many of you patriotic citizens of Razzball Nation made your voices be heard in our 8 categories to be awarded tonight.  And I have to say Slim, I got a sneak peek of the results, and I have to agree with most of our winners.  Razzball Nation is so wise!

JB begins stroking Slim’s beard

JB – How did YOU get to be so wise, Slim?

uncomfortable pause

Slim – I’ve got to sit here and put up with this AND do a Podcast with you in a few hours?!  I’m firing my agent…

JB – …Speaking of firing, Brian Shaw is here!  Donning a “please hire me, seriously ANYONE!” suit made by the fine tailors of Larry Drew.

Slim – Yes and Michael Carter-Williams is here, excited for tonight’s festivities as he’s up for multiple awards. I’m really having trouble figuring out what he’s showcasing on the red carpet…  Looks like he’s in 4 XL jacket, but his pants barely go past his knees…

JB – Yup, that MCW has never been good with his ratios, Slim!

Slim – Correct you are JB, and with that, it looks like we’re ready to hand out our first award, so let’s tune in to the stage and start awarding our second annual Razzies:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[Reposting to the top!  Remember, polls close on Saturday night, so be sure and get your votes in for the 14-15 Razzies!]

The Razzies are back!  You’d think we’d want to distinguish the best across the NBA with our annual awards show, but where is the fun in that?!  Especially after this past month of injuries, DNPs, and tanking buffoonery.  Buffoonery I say!  So the second annual 2014-2015 NBA Razzies are here, a year after our debut awards gala.  Who could forget all our Larry Drew bashing?!  Our decorated awards panel have painstakingly put together the candidates for the prestigious Razzies, and once again, the results are voted on by you Razzball Nation!  Polls will be closed at the end of this Saturday night on April 4th, and we’ll release the winners in our awards ceremony next Tuesday.  We have 8 awards to bestow in the wall of shame, so vote once, vote often, and let your voice be heard Razzball Nation!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Slim and I dressed up in suits and bow ties, Slim gelled his beard, I flossed for the first time since 2011, and we went in and crashed the Yahoo Friends & Family League!  What fantasy basketball draft isn’t improved with an early Latrell Spreewell joke in the draft chat?

So with the updated Yahoo player ranks eerily mimicking a lot of our sleeper calls, Slim and I had to really pull A Beautiful Mind to get our draft strategy in order.  On top of drafting with some experts, league settings were a major factor in our strategy.  The league is a 12 team H2H, but instead of RCL/default week 21-23 playoff schedule, the Y! F&F is weeks 22-24.  Right away, all Cavaliers were absolutely off-limits.  Looking at Slim’s ridiculously awesome breakdown of playoff schedules, the Cavs have 3 games week 22, 2 in week 23, then week 24 is the final 10 days of the season.  I’m not even going to look at their schedule, since there’s a good chance the Cavs rest their starters for several games in that final 10 days.  The experts knew this too, as Kevin Love fell to 15th overall, with us passing on him with pick 14.

The other main settings differences were roster composition and the league is weekly with only 2 moves allowed a week.  The roster breakdown is PG, SG, SF, PF, C, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, BN, BN, BN.  Slim and I unanimously agreed to go PG and C heavy, filling out SG/SF with ThrAGNOFs.  Limited moves also made us want to hoard PG since fewer will break out off the wire.  Here’s how team Razzball (will be co-managed by both of us) panned out:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Several have asked.  The path; fraught with peril.  The excruciating man hours; soul breaking.  But we got it together!  And well, I didn’t do that much work to be honest…  Everyone that uses the Official Razzball Top 200 on draft day with these sortable stats by Slim’s projections, be sure to thank Curtis and Rudy!  And Slim did the heavy lifting using his maths!  Curtis helped put together the stats, then Rudy with his wizardry made this look spiffy and easily sortable.  We’re such a community!  Need some steals late?  BOOM!  Mario Chalmers and Corey Brewer are still on the board.  If you have any questions let us know, and be sure if this helped you at all, thank Curtis and Rudy in the comments, and of course Slim for his hard work using his abacus!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  You’ve seen a dime a dozen… And no I’m not talking about lady parts or buttcheeks on Game of Thrones…. But mock 2014 NBA Drafts!  And since Game of Thrones is the hottest thing on TV, Slim and I decided to join the fray.  Let’s pretend he’s built like Drogo, the facial hair is fa rizz folks,  and I back-and-forth with him like whatever the hell that giant was north of the wall.  But not like that!  Wait, this just got way off track…

What we did differently is alternate picks to adjust our thoughts and expectations accordingly.  Slim thinks Embiid to the Cavs, I think it’s Wiggins, many others think Parker… We then have to make new thoughts as we go, and track players falling to get them to their upcoming destinations.  We both go into why we made that pick for the team, and a quick blurb on their fantasy impact on said destination should it come to fruition.  Here’s how we see the 2014 NBA Draft’s First Round going down:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…And we’re here!  Finally wrapping up a recap of the top 100 and how much I hated Andre Drummond coming into the year.  It’s not my fault!  He still can’t hit free throws!  Aherm, cough, I think I’m going to miss today’s class with the flu.

So far, and I’m not just saying this for my ego, I think I did the Nation better than I expected.  Sure there were swing-and-misses – I’m not Biff from Back to the Future Part II!  But it’s been a great learning experience recapping my ranks, and our loyal, bearded Slim comes in with his grades.  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim then recaps JB’s best ranks in the 101-200 range and worst.  Giannis Antetokounmpo for MVP!  To keep it unbiased, Slim picked the best 4 and worst 4, so we’ll have to see who he goes with… Here’s a look back at the Top 100 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So we’re through my top-50 and now getting into the mid-rounds.  We’re taking this through the whole top 100, but some of these are going to be gold and some fool’s gold.  As in, Larry Sanders‘ gold.  If I got to the end of a rainbow and Larry Sanders was there, I’d ask for a refund…

Through the Top 20 and Top 50, I think I’ve done the rankings pretty well.  They tell you towards the end of high school, “the smart ones get the As, but the most successful get Bs.”  I might have made that up since I never studied for virtually anything and got Bs…  But a 3.00 GPA thus far sounds about right!  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim then grades me.  I asked him, “will you give me As if I show you my double-Ds?”  He then flunked me…  Here’s a look back at the Top 75 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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