JB – We’re back with our second annual NBA Razzies, awarding the worst of the worst from the 2014-15 NBA Season!  Last year’s ceremony was a pop culture sensation, a slamming of the dysfunctional Bucks and the [former] Luminescent Lithuanian.  Speaking of luminescent, I’m here with Slim who looks radiant.  What is that, some Oil of Olay exfoliant you’ve been using lately?

Slim – Really…?  I mean, that’s my intro…?  Really…?

JB – Yes, “really” as in I’m “really” happy with the turnout at the polls, as many of you patriotic citizens of Razzball Nation made your voices be heard in our 8 categories to be awarded tonight.  And I have to say Slim, I got a sneak peek of the results, and I have to agree with most of our winners.  Razzball Nation is so wise!

JB begins stroking Slim’s beard

JB – How did YOU get to be so wise, Slim?

uncomfortable pause

Slim – I’ve got to sit here and put up with this AND do a Podcast with you in a few hours?!  I’m firing my agent…

JB – …Speaking of firing, Brian Shaw is here!  Donning a “please hire me, seriously ANYONE!” suit made by the fine tailors of Larry Drew.

Slim – Yes and Michael Carter-Williams is here, excited for tonight’s festivities as he’s up for multiple awards. I’m really having trouble figuring out what he’s showcasing on the red carpet…  Looks like he’s in 4 XL jacket, but his pants barely go past his knees…

JB – Yup, that MCW has never been good with his ratios, Slim!

Slim – Correct you are JB, and with that, it looks like we’re ready to hand out our first award, so let’s tune in to the stage and start awarding our second annual Razzies:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[Reposting to the top!  Remember, polls close on Saturday night, so be sure and get your votes in for the 14-15 Razzies!]

The Razzies are back!  You’d think we’d want to distinguish the best across the NBA with our annual awards show, but where is the fun in that?!  Especially after this past month of injuries, DNPs, and tanking buffoonery.  Buffoonery I say!  So the second annual 2014-2015 NBA Razzies are here, a year after our debut awards gala.  Who could forget all our Larry Drew bashing?!  Our decorated awards panel have painstakingly put together the candidates for the prestigious Razzies, and once again, the results are voted on by you Razzball Nation!  Polls will be closed at the end of this Saturday night on April 4th, and we’ll release the winners in our awards ceremony next Tuesday.  We have 8 awards to bestow in the wall of shame, so vote once, vote often, and let your voice be heard Razzball Nation!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Slim and I dressed up in suits and bow ties, Slim gelled his beard, I flossed for the first time since 2011, and we went in and crashed the Yahoo Friends & Family League!  What fantasy basketball draft isn’t improved with an early Latrell Spreewell joke in the draft chat?

So with the updated Yahoo player ranks eerily mimicking a lot of our sleeper calls, Slim and I had to really pull A Beautiful Mind to get our draft strategy in order.  On top of drafting with some experts, league settings were a major factor in our strategy.  The league is a 12 team H2H, but instead of RCL/default week 21-23 playoff schedule, the Y! F&F is weeks 22-24.  Right away, all Cavaliers were absolutely off-limits.  Looking at Slim’s ridiculously awesome breakdown of playoff schedules, the Cavs have 3 games week 22, 2 in week 23, then week 24 is the final 10 days of the season.  I’m not even going to look at their schedule, since there’s a good chance the Cavs rest their starters for several games in that final 10 days.  The experts knew this too, as Kevin Love fell to 15th overall, with us passing on him with pick 14.

The other main settings differences were roster composition and the league is weekly with only 2 moves allowed a week.  The roster breakdown is PG, SG, SF, PF, C, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, UTIL, BN, BN, BN.  Slim and I unanimously agreed to go PG and C heavy, filling out SG/SF with ThrAGNOFs.  Limited moves also made us want to hoard PG since fewer will break out off the wire.  Here’s how team Razzball (will be co-managed by both of us) panned out:

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Several have asked.  The path; fraught with peril.  The excruciating man hours; soul breaking.  But we got it together!  And well, I didn’t do that much work to be honest…  Everyone that uses the Official Razzball Top 200 on draft day with these sortable stats by Slim’s projections, be sure to thank Curtis and Rudy!  And Slim did the heavy lifting using his maths!  Curtis helped put together the stats, then Rudy with his wizardry made this look spiffy and easily sortable.  We’re such a community!  Need some steals late?  BOOM!  Mario Chalmers and Corey Brewer are still on the board.  If you have any questions let us know, and be sure if this helped you at all, thank Curtis and Rudy in the comments, and of course Slim for his hard work using his abacus!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  You’ve seen a dime a dozen… And no I’m not talking about lady parts or buttcheeks on Game of Thrones…. But mock 2014 NBA Drafts!  And since Game of Thrones is the hottest thing on TV, Slim and I decided to join the fray.  Let’s pretend he’s built like Drogo, the facial hair is fa rizz folks,  and I back-and-forth with him like whatever the hell that giant was north of the wall.  But not like that!  Wait, this just got way off track…

What we did differently is alternate picks to adjust our thoughts and expectations accordingly.  Slim thinks Embiid to the Cavs, I think it’s Wiggins, many others think Parker… We then have to make new thoughts as we go, and track players falling to get them to their upcoming destinations.  We both go into why we made that pick for the team, and a quick blurb on their fantasy impact on said destination should it come to fruition.  Here’s how we see the 2014 NBA Draft’s First Round going down:

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…And we’re here!  Finally wrapping up a recap of the top 100 and how much I hated Andre Drummond coming into the year.  It’s not my fault!  He still can’t hit free throws!  Aherm, cough, I think I’m going to miss today’s class with the flu.

So far, and I’m not just saying this for my ego, I think I did the Nation better than I expected.  Sure there were swing-and-misses – I’m not Biff from Back to the Future Part II!  But it’s been a great learning experience recapping my ranks, and our loyal, bearded Slim comes in with his grades.  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim then recaps JB’s best ranks in the 101-200 range and worst.  Giannis Antetokounmpo for MVP!  To keep it unbiased, Slim picked the best 4 and worst 4, so we’ll have to see who he goes with… Here’s a look back at the Top 100 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So we’re through my top-50 and now getting into the mid-rounds.  We’re taking this through the whole top 100, but some of these are going to be gold and some fool’s gold.  As in, Larry Sanders‘ gold.  If I got to the end of a rainbow and Larry Sanders was there, I’d ask for a refund…

Through the Top 20 and Top 50, I think I’ve done the rankings pretty well.  They tell you towards the end of high school, “the smart ones get the As, but the most successful get Bs.”  I might have made that up since I never studied for virtually anything and got Bs…  But a 3.00 GPA thus far sounds about right!  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim then grades me.  I asked him, “will you give me As if I show you my double-Ds?”  He then flunked me…  Here’s a look back at the Top 75 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

More rankings, more “hindsight is 20-20″-ing!  Damn man, seeing LaMarcus Aldridge carve up the Rockets after his huge season is bumming me out – even before I hop into reviewing 21-50!  Get the red marker ready Slim!  Get that F ready!

Just like we reviewed in the Top 20, rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim busts out his grading pens and reviews for grammatical correctness and how stringently I followed the assignment.  “What if I stay after class for tutoring!?”  This dialogue and mental image is starting to sound like a low-rent porno.  It’s not like that!  Here’s a look back at the Top 50 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Hoops Nation!  It’s officially the offseason!  Well for fantasy…  And for the Knicks and the Lakers.  And the Pacers!  Haha, sorry matt, just joshin’…

And what better way to look back on the 2013-14 season than to reflect on the rankings.  Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it!  Dammit, that means I can’t ever rank Ricky Rubio highly again even though I know I’ll want to!

So I reflected back on my ranks, and patted myself on the back or immolated myself on what I was thinking so long ago.  Rankings are based on my final updated top 200 and eesh!  Looking back on these some are rough!  I then compared them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues for the season.  I had Slim come in and grade each of my picks, and man, he’s a harsh grader!  And unfortunately he doesn’t take too kindly to giant pasty men flashing their teetans at him either, so I got no extra help. Here’s a look back at the Top 20 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

JB – Welcome to the first annual 2013-2014 NBA Razzies!  A celebration and a spectacle of everything that went wrong for fantasy owners in the 2013-2014 NBA season.  We opened polls for fantasy owners to submit their votes on deserving nominees, and the tallies are in, the nominees are here, there really isn’t a more spectacular night for NBA fans, is there Slim?

Slim – That’s right JB, the entire Sydney Opera House is teeming with excitement as we welcome in the nominees, celebrities… I just talked with Jack Nicholson a moment ago, so glad he could make it out to support his Lakers.

JB – You know, I was surprised we could book this at the Sydney Opera House – –

Slim – Don’t doubt the straws I can pull in my native country!

Awkward Silence

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