So you took the red pill, and followed Morpheus down the rabbit hole. Or St. Nick up the Chimney hole. You know what I mean. We look back at week 9. What happened to week 8, you say? Red pill, son, it never happened. Or, if you’re a conspiracy theory/shut-in/don’t-trust-the-government type (my strongest demographic!), it was because of the illusion of Christmas. Whatever floats yer boat. And speaking of boat-floating, lets take a look at which teams are riding the waves, and which are floundering:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

That title is pathetic. But so am I, juggling Christmas shopping, and my obligation to the Razzball faithful. This Article will be the equivalent of giving everyone on my list 25 dollar home depot gift cards as Christmas gifts, you’ll smile uncomfortably, and mutter “thanks, you shouldn’t have.”, or some such apathetic reply after finishing it. One day I’m gonna have the balls to prank my wife with that move, and see how long she can keep “the spirit of the season is to give, not receive” farce going before I get whacked with a candlestick. But it was no prank to see Kemba Walker ice the Raptors in OT, one night after Damian Lillard did the same thing to the Cavs. These young guns sure are fun to watch (sorry Javaris, too soon?), and even more fun if they’re on your fantasy team! let’s take a look at the some of the other pistols in the arsenal:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was a week to remember. We laughed, we cried, and I think we learned something new about ourselves, a la Full House weekly episode recap. God, I miss Danny Tanner, and his homespun wisdom. Where were you when I wanted to get a Wu-Tang tattoo when I was 18 years old, Mr Tanner? Speaking of emotions ranging from awesome to regret, let us consider the Razzball RCL: For the Random Commenter Fantasy League participators, week 7 was another step towards fantasy dominance, and in some cases, the rich got richer, and others delivered a “THIS IS SPARTA!” kick to their opponent. Let’s see how the debauchery unfolded, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I trust everyone has been a good boy or girl this year, and has sent their wish list to Santa already, right? I have it on good authority that jolly old St. Nick is a huge NBA fan, so naturally I suggest you ask for fantasy help. And I have a strategy: bear in mind, if you ask for too much, you get burned for being greedy, and you will get coal bricks under your tree (like Drummond at the free throw line, amirite?? Awful, sorry.). So, that in mind, I’m simply asking for dimes. I need help with assists in my 2 leagues, I took Kyrie in both leagues, and he is not exactly packing that stat line, I have Jameer, and he’s been on and off the court… well, whining to you guys won’t do anything about it. But whining to Santa will. It has to, as there is no quality points on my waiver. And with that let me bend your eyeballs to a few guys that might make excellent stocking stuffers:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ok Fight Fans, the white stuff is falling in many of the basketball cities: New York, Brooklyn, Chicago, Denver, Toronto, Milwaukee, Denver, Cleveland, Minnesota… which I know isn’t a city, but never having been to that fine Fargo state, if the team refers itself to that moniker, it’s good enough for me. But good enough isn’t what you players in the Razzball Random Commenter Leagues should strive for?!! Greatness! Immortality! These are your goals. And some of you need to shake off the holiday distractions and focus on the prize:

**The master standings are now up!  Check out how you’re stacking up against all RCL teams here, or hover over “Leagues” to check in with the standings updated weekly**

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Have you ever gone out with a nurse, or someone in pre-med? It sounds all sexy, and I’m not gonna lie, it was, but like in all things, there are benefits, and there are drawbacks. In my case, it was a textbook situation of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. If I had a cough – it’s malaria. Once I had an itch on my back – don’t wanna scare you, but you may have cancer. My sac a little tingly – you got the AIDS. Humph. She was wrong on almost all of those prognostications. But I can relate, because I fancy myself a bit of a B-Ball aficionado, and, really, I just read and watch a lot of the game. So when I nabbed Kobe Bryant in the 5th round in 2 leagues, I smugly patted myself on the back, letting the league know I got the steal of the draft. Mamba was gonna came back right at the beginning of the season, all pissed off, and be a ball hoggin’ menace out there. Then I got either Sanders, or Tobias, as well as Wilson Chandler, and held them on the bench also. I thought that I could outsmart the system, and it hasn’t exactly worked out that way. But I’m still hoping that Kobe can come in this Sunday, and totally redeem me. But this isn’t my diary, so let’s get to it.

So, knowledge is dangerous, potentially, I believe I have established that. If you think you can handle the danger, then read on, brave reader, read on:

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So, I can safely say that we all are feeling a little over indulged this week.

At times like theses, I simultaneously applaud the invention of jogging/sweat wear, and it’s practical comfort, while also making note of the most ironic departure from a genre of garment’s original intended use. Who ever sweats while joggging in this stuff anymore? Maybe everyone, but seeing as I’m not out jogging, in these garments, or anything else, I guess I can’t really be so smug about it. And this applies to some of our early leaders in the Razzball RCLs, you shouldn’t be so damn smug either, after last week 5. Are you true contenders, or sweat wear? Let’s take a look:

**The master standings are now up!  Check out how you’re stacking up against all RCL teams here, or hover over “Leagues” to check in with the standings updated weekly**

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s the time of crazed shopping for discounted electronics. The argument: “At that price, I couldn’t afford NOT to get it!” will be heard all around the country over Turkey leftovers this weekend. I give to you the Buy/Sell shortened holiday edition, free packaging, 70% off, this weekend only! And with that in mind, here are a few guys you can’t afford not to get:

Buy:

Jordan Farmar PG

You got up late, you’re one of the last to the mall, cursing the excessive turkey and alcohol consumption, and you’re scrambling for points, treys, steals and the odd assist. Well, the basketball gods are smiling on you, because although he’s one of the last in the sales bin, Jordan Farmar is still there for you. In the last 2 games, he has hit 8 3pts, with almost 5 dimes per game. He’s only owned 9% of leagues. It’s not a perfect choice, but that’s what you get when you sleep in, mutton-head!

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Week 4, we hardly knew ye! The season is in full swing, and doubtless there are some owners who are wringing their hands, fretting over the loss of either Rose or M Gasol, or to a lesser extent, Eric B. Cause he ain’t no joke! Please tell me there are some original hip hop fans out there who are old enough to get that reference. But I digress: We all know that injuries are a part of the games, we know that, but if you’re like me, I hate the smug S.O.B. in the league who spouts that line when it isn’t his cornerstone player going down for half or all the season. And speaking of smug S.O.B.’s lets check in with our fearless fantasy warriors this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are, brothers and sisters, into our 4th week of fantasy, and things are starting to shake out, no?  Stevie Blake continues to produce, and all is right in the world of baskets and balls. Or is it?

I had written a smelly little article last week, another Buy/Sell, and one of you kind readers, Giant Gigantes, asked why my article read like a add/drop, and not buy/sell, as I didn’t recommend any players that are playing over their head, ones that the reader should look to move. At first I blew it off, not thinking anything of it. I mean, how would I, or anyone else know this early in the season who is over valued, and who is under performing? The nerve of this cat, right?

But I couldn’t leave it alone, because I’m petty, and can’t take criticism of any form due to my tenuous opinion of myself. In this case, there was something to what he was saying. Giant was right to expect me to make some wild assertions, if for no other reason than to spark some discussion amongst you guys. I needed to go deeper, do some serious introspection about what motivates me, who I am, and who I want to be as a hack sports advice guy. But only after a healthy dose of porn. Don’t judge my methods, that’s how I reach my spirit guide.

Please, blog, may I have some more?