This is it. It’s go time. Play your angry music, and paint that Mike Singletary look of intensity on your mug. I suggest you give yourself the “This is what we play for” football speech. We are lining the last few weeks of NBA fantasy, and those of you on the bubble, you have precious little time to make it in. And to you just mentioned, I hope the NBA gods are smiling on you. Let’s see what action played out in the Random Commenter Leagues. And don’t forget, you can always check where you are in the master standings.

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So, I would wager that most of you have passed the trade deadline, if your league has one. And it should. Nothing sparks a conspiracy theorist like an “uneven” trade between a contender and a team out of contention 2 weeks from the playoffs. If you are in a league that still allows trades, have your hand hovering over the “bullsh*t” button when trades come across the wire.

But what do you do when you have a player that needs replacing? The waiver is your saviour! Check these cats out if you need some last minute replacing:

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With the fantasy playoffs so close, I always start to worry about the health of my players.  And, I must admit, I have to resist the urge to tinker with my squad. If you learn anything from my mistakes, gentle readers, I do hope it is the following: do NOT mess with your line up while intoxicated! I woke up this morning to discover I had dropped 2 players to pick up 2 additional Bucks, adding Ersan Ilyasova, and Khris Middleton. I already had John Henson. That’s a lot of venison. Yeesh. Some of the RCL league players may be feeling like their roster is a bit gamey as well. Let’s see how everyone fared this past week, and be sure to see where you rank in the master standings:

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I don’t know if you can’t see the double entendre I just did there in the Title. Big… get it?  As in “bigs”.  As in big guys who play the power forward and/or centre position. Pretty clever, I know. To further the mystery of my creative process, I submit that you need to secure the Power Forward and Centre position if you want to have a deep run in the playoffs. In addition, in case you had yet to arrive at this revelation, you will also need great wings and guards to complete the package. That is my Madden-ism for the week. So, to summarize: you need great bigs, wings and guards, or you won’t go far on your fantasy run.

For today, I’ll focus on the bigs only. The following dudes may be raising you up, or bringing you down. Take a gander:

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Bigs going down all over the place! Favors, Bogut, Varejao, Millsap, Nene, Sullinger, Amir Johnson, Pekovic, and many more.

So what can you do to topple a titan? You may be falling out of the race for top spot in the Razzball Random Commenter Leagues, but like Belgium in the first world war vs. Germany, you can be instrumental at slowing down a juggernaut just enough to stop world domination for 6 more weeks (please tell me our education system hasn’t failed to the point that you don’t understand my reference).

What I’m saying is you should keep fighting the good fight, don’t give up on your team just because you sit tenth out of twelve! You can still win a week or two! For motivation, check where you rank in  the master standings. And for some inspiration, let’s see who won last week:

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And you thought that the trade deadline was gonna be a dud. And to that, sir or madam, I give you two words: Byron Freakin’ Mullens. Bam! The Sixers have just dropped the mic on the NBA stage, a la Chris Rock.

Actually, all joking aside, Lord Byron might be worth watching in deeper leagues – if the Sixers stick with the free flowing offence they’ve been playing thus far, there’s a long shot he might actually produce. He started for the Bobcats for half a season, and wasn’t all that bad. Yeesh!, that’s a limp di*k endorsement if I’ve ever given one.

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Ok, That title is not exactly true. It was basically just short. I for one welcomed not having to check my lineups for a few days. It’s exhausting. For all that effort, I may as well lace up my chucks and join the lay-up line, amirite?

The Basketball doldrums: We have reached them. One must only plow bravely onward, and trust that the stretch run will ramp up the intensity. To get yourself psyched up, why not check the master standings? You can find where the following weekly winners stack up:

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It’s finally here: All Star Weekend! It’s a shortened week, so you get a shortened article.  Like New Years Eve, I’m getting hyped up to be let down, the most common experience in life. I’d like to say I’m optimistic for the weekend’s festivities, that the changes to the dunk competition will make the product exciting, but I’m not. Nevertheless, it’s all about expectation. Take your fantasy squad: If you’re like me, you enjoy having a player on your roster being named to the All-Star squad. From my  perspective, it increases his value, even though we all know, that it really comes down to the numbers. But I have an expectation that players who have been named an All-Star will live up to that honour.

So now might be the time to buy an All-Star, who has the best part of the season (and his production) left, or to sell high on an All-Star who is overvalued. Understand that there are no steals here. You’ll pay (or receive) for every player listed below.  That said, here are a few names to consider:

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I love the All Star break, the dunk contest specifically. I know that I’m in the minority – it’s a sham – but I was 22 when Vince Carter ripped down the rim in the slam dunk competition and I was hooked. But my All Star experience has been just like heroin: I’m told you get that first taste and then you wind up chasing the dragon for the rest of your days. Each year I get all excited that someone will surpass that original Carter rush, a player will bring some absolutely undeniably vicious funk to the rim, and make me regain my youth. I hope that the new format will help achieve that for me. But the truth is, even if it does, I know I’ll never get any younger. Which is why I have to live in the now, which as my philosophy prof would say, is Swedish for bullsh*t. My point? Those of you in RCL striking distance of making the playoffs, trade away the future for the now!! Let’s see who has a shot for glory, and who should settle for the glory hole. And you can see where you rank in world domination with  the master standings …

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Sometimes there’s not much you can do to affect your situation. If you’re reading this, digging this deep into the murky ether of the worldwide inter-webs for fantasy basketball advice, I’m sure you’ve had a daydream or two about being an NBA baller. We both know, however, for you and I, it wasn’t about not getting enough shots up after practice that held us out of the Association, we didn’t have the talent, pure and simple. But, if you’re petty like me, you might take some ironic comfort in knowing that even some of the Ballers in the NBA get shafted as well. Take Kyle Lowry, for example. He gets snubbed for the All Star game, then snubbed for the replacement players, THEN gets named Eastern conference player of the week, and then receives the worst call of the year, just to burst his bubble. That is a travesty of injustice, and while I’m not shedding any tears for Kyle inherently, it just goes to show that even the elite get effed with. There is a karmic balance going on, people, stop pretending there isn’t, and start paying it forward, eat your vegetables, and help old ladies across the street.

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