Pip-pip! Huzzah! Ha-cha-cha! And bully! It’s time to wake grandma up, ask her where she keeps the key to the liquor cabinet, threaten her with permanent relocation to a faraway retirement community if she doesn’t tell you where the key is, get the key, use the key, grab the 30-year-old bottle of champagne and pop that sucker, because it’s time for the 2010-11 Fantasy Basketball rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trailblazers GM Rich Cho was non-comittal about Greg Oden being a-ready-steady-go for the start of the season. I know knee injuries like Oden’s are bad – real bad – but dude popped that cap out of its socket nine months ago and all he’s doing is defensive slide drills?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 2006-07, Gilbert Arenas was a top 5 fantasy pick. In 2008-09, he was an injured mess hanging out on your waiver wire, hitting on your sister and asking to borrow your truck for a few days. In 2009-10, he was overrated and being picked in rounds 3-5 in drafts.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t let anyone tell you that champions aren’t made in the final rounds of fantasy basketball drafts. They are. If anyone tells you that, send ‘em my way. I’ll be sure to sternly hold my index finger in front of their face as soon as they start talking.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In a shocking turn of events, Larry Bird and the Pacers made a deal that not only helped the team but also involved ridding themselves of a white guy to do it. A white guy! Like convincing a hipster his music is unlistenable – it never happens.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tracy McGrady Will be a Piston for either a year or until his legs detach from his body and Tayshaun Prince clubs him over the head with them. What? The Celtics ran out of room on their roster for old all-stars with Irish-sounding names?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Shaquille O’Neal officially signed with the Celtics and forced the slightly younger 2003-version of you to blow a gasket at the prospect of Garnett, Allen, Pierce and both O’Neals playing on the same floor. Never mind their age, has a group of black guys ever had a more Irish-appropriate set of names than the guys I just mentioned?

Please, blog, may I have some more?