Let’s not pussyfoot around here (I just vacuumed): would you trust David Kahn and his Minnesota Timbergoofs (or is it “Timbergooves”?) with your fantasy team? No. You wouldn’t. You would? No. You wouldn’t. Stop it. Despite the facts that Wesley Johnson was the best player Minnesota was likely going to get in this year’s draft and that Kahn managed to accidentally not mess it up, the third-year Orange is still entering into a system that needs a lot of Band-Aids, and not the kind where Kate Hudson tags along on your tour bus, bro.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The big boned Sean May broke his foot and will be out ’til after training camp. May’s feet were tired of all the stress and strain and put their two weeks notice in. After three consecutive days of coming into work late, filthy and constantly harassing the secretaries, the rest of Sean May asked his foot to go away immediately.

Please, blog, may I have some more?