Minnesota’s Darko Milicic has a 3.6 PER and an ORtg of 58 despite averaging nearly 23 minutes per game to start the season. I honestly didn’t know either of those statistics could get that low. I thought I could walk out onto a pro court wearing a sumo suit and ice skates and earn better than a 3.6 PER.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So you’ve made it through the first week of fantasy basketball and came out the other side not only covered in mucus, but also likely one of two types of fantasy hoopsters: Either the type that wants to wait a few weeks to see what kind of lineup you drafted before making any changes, or the type that dropped three players 90 seconds after the draft was over.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s not always easy to keep perspective. Like when the 410 lb. orca whale purchasing $30-worth of Burger King for himself double-checks with the cashier that the soda he was served is Diet. But we here at Razzball know how difficult maintaining perspective can be, especially when you’re drunk and trying to sketch moving objects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?