Sometimes things can get a little snarky here at Razzball. Sometimes? Well, yeah, Italics Baldwin. Sometimes. Uh, and ‘a little snarky’? Just a tad, yeah. What of it? Razzfall? No. You simply misread that one. I clearly typed it Razzball. Bifocal-up, son. Fine. Anyway, instead of leading off today’s roundup with Jim O’Brien’s firing and the widely-held belief that Tyler Hansbrough‘s about to bust the league over his knee, I decided to save that and start off with Orlando’s Ryan Anderson, a top 25 fantasy option owned like a top 120 fantasy option. Technically Anderson could be ranked no.25 and still be considered a top 120 fantasy option. Well, now who’s being snarky, Italics Trabek? He ended with a 23/16 line that included five threes last night, which speaks for itself. Sorta. I mean, I guess not really or else I wouldn’t have had to even type it here. It would have just appeared in your mindscape like childhood memories. Anderson was averaging about 14 mpg and a line of 8/3/0.5 through December. By January, StanVan lengthened Anderson’s rope to 25 mpg and the guy responded by sinking – not attempting, but sinking – 47 threes in the month of January. That’s 3.1 treys a game from a guy only playing half the game. That’s a three every eight minutes of playing time. The league leader in threes, Dorell Wright, sank 38 in the same number of January games and he did it in 608 minutes. That’s once every 16 minutes of playing time. Ray Allen sank 43 treys in 543 January minutes. That’s one trey every 12.6 minutes. What I’m saying is, Anderson is owned in fewer than 60 percent of fantasy leagues and there’s no reason for this. Because along with threes, his percentages are excellent, he rebounds at an above-average clip and accumulates blocks. If Brandon Bass goes down, Anderson could end this season playing top 10 basketball. His January per36 stats are 21.8/9.4/1.2 with 4.5 threes and 1.4 blocks per game. Do it! Can we go back to snarky now? Yes, Italics P. Keaton. We may.
Here’s what else went down this weekend in fantasy basketball:
Jameer Nelson – 3-for-11 from the field yesterday. I’m kinda done with Nelson. He’s getting a lot of credit for being on a good team and having that solid first half of a season back in 2008. He hasn’t scored more than 14 in any of his last six games, his assists are erratic and the one or two threes he makes doesn’t make up for a field goal percentage that looks more like it should be a three-point percentage.
Chris Bosh – Returned after two weeks off and ended with 20/7 in 36 minutes, then did the impossible. He showed authority even while LeBron and Wade were on the court? No, don’t be silly. I said “impossible,” not “make believe.” He coaxed Kevin Durant into calling him a “fake tough-guy.”
Dwyane Wade – 32/8/2 with 2 steals and 9 tovs. Those 9 tov essentially neutralize his 32 points. Hope you enjoy your no.1 draft pick’s eight rebounds, guys!
Eddie House – … Is a twerp. Your deep league team doesn’t need him and you’d hate your team even if it did.
James Harden – 5/6/5 with 2 tov and a steal in his second game starting in place of the injured Thabo Sefolosha. He’s played 68 minutes, scored 13 points and shot .333 from the field. That wind sound whirling in your ear is the sound of Harden blowing an opportunity. That brand new flava in ya ear? That’s Craig Mack.
Daequan Cook – Dookie scored 13 points in 31 minutes, then fouled out. This is the ceiling of what he’ll do this season. The 5-foot ceiling in my basement is higher.
Serge Ibaka – Seems to be in a time share with Nick Collison on the depth chart. He’s played 27 minutes, then 18, then 13 and then nine yesterday. When the team needs defense, they go Collison, when they need offense they go Ibaka. But with Durant, Westbrook and Green, how often are they really gonna go to Ibaka?
C.J. Miles – Shot 2-for-11 last night. It’s really remarkable how hot ‘n’ cold this guy gets. Almost like clockwork. Watch him go (relatively) bonkers on either Charlotte or Houston and shrivel against the other. I’d avoid him unless you can afford to take the sour along with the sweet.
Paul Millsap – Shot .385 against the Warriors. Skillsap’s turned into Sappedskills.
Earl Watson – 8/4/5 in 35 starter’s minutes in place of the injured Deron Williams. As Williams will likely be back in the lineup tonight, Watson can return to his role as sousaphonist in the NBA’s blues band alongside Taj Gibson and Sonny Weems.
Monta Ellis – 1-for-9, 2 points. Monta Funker!!
Shaquille O’Neal – A 7’1″ fat man stood no more than 15 feet away from the basket for 13 minutes, scored no points, but earned five fouls. That seems hard to do. Also, I forgot that Shaquille O’Neal’s mom is named Lucille O’Neal. Everytime I’m reminded of this I giggle.
Kevin Garnett – 18/13/5, but his 1-game streak of knuckle-pops to an opponent’s junk ended at one Channing Frye.
Marcin Gortat – 25/11, went 9-for-10 from the field, 7-for-7 from the line and he’s putting up numbers like the old Suns’ center instead of a Suns center who is old.
Manny Harris – Started in front of Daniel Gibson, who injured his left quad and will miss a game or two. Boobie be droopin’.
Samardo Samuels – 16 points in 19 minutes. Sometimes when I’m playing NBA 2Kwhatever, I choose the worst player on the team and only run the offense through him to see how awesome I can make him look for one special game. Anyone else getting the feeling the Cavs are trying the same thing with their roster?
Carmelo Anthony – Cold. Yuck. Or cold-yuck. Whichever.
J.R. Smith – If I told you that Earl Jr. scored 23 points without hitting a single three, would you believe me? No? Even if I told you he did it once before in his career (last December). Still no? Never mind then.
Ben Gordon – 35 points, 7 threes in 41 minutes. That makes up for week 1. Just 14 more weeks to go!
Greg Monroe – 15/17/2, 2 steals. I don’t love him for the rest of this season, but he’s gonna be quite the sweet A.S.S. next season (Adam’s Super Sleeper). Okay, I’ll stop trying to make ASS happen.
Austin Daye -0/1/0, 2 tovs in 10 minutes. He played 42 minutes two days before this game. Kuester must really want a seat on Jim O’Brien’s new fishing boat.
Timofey Mozgov – 23/14 in 37 minutes with Ronny Turiaf in foul trouble. MSG was chanting his name in the waning seconds of the game. As an American, any crowd chanting anything Russian still sends a chill through my bones. Also sending a chill through my bones, the thought of fantasy owners running to the waiver wire to pick up Timofey Mozgov.
Roy Hibbert – Jim O’Brien’s gone and everything I’m reading suggests that every single Pacer is set for a positive uptick in production, except maybe Danny Granger. A lot of times, teams get up to play for a new coach – or because the old coach is gone – and I do expect the Pacers to be better without O’Brien than with him. But a lot of Indiana’s problems weren’t caused by Obie. Tyler Hansbrough‘s health has kept him back far more than his spot in the rotation. Hibbert might have been manhandled by O’Brien, but he was given minutes and had the offense run through him, it’s not like Anthony Randolph or Troy Murphy who aren’t even being given a chance. Paul George and Darren Collinson were getting burn as it is and playing better. Granger? Well, Granger’s threes should dip, while is FG% rises. Fair trade. In the end, the Pacers roles have to shift and be redefined. It’s like starting all over, which is problematic because interim coach Frank Vogel is a lot like O’Brien. He’s been with him at various positions, anyway. I still think Collison’s season can be salvaged and both Hibbert and Hansbrough can regain some of that pizzaz many believe is in there, but Indiana won’t be the sudden treasure-trove of fantasy options other fantasy sites are claiming it will.