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Week 5 has wrapped up, with yet another shake-up atop the REL standings.  Kap retakes his throne, which is fitting because we’re friends from college and he wore the Burger King costume for Halloween once.  With the tights and everything!  Friggin skinny legs over there looked like a tranny King!  I keed, I keed, nice to see you leading the league and quieting Slim a little bit…  I can tell Slim is mad, because I’m writing this intro without his weekly recap coming in right away.  Last week, I think I got it at 4:00 AM as he was unable to sleep without sending it ASAP!  Hopefully all you deep dynasty players out there had a good week, and here’s how week 5 went down in the REL:

RAZZBALL ELITE LEAGUE

1. Kap’s Team  (34-10-1)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

2. Slim – Razzball  (33-12-0)

FAAB Remaining: $48  FAAB Moves this week: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute ($5)

That went exactly as predicted.  The punted FG% is still hovering around .400, whatever.  FT% was just barely as good as I needed it to be and it was almost sunk by Jared Sullinger alone, who as a career 75% FT guy is currently hovering under 65%.  I had my worst week of 3-point shooting by far but with Lillard only playing 2 games, Galloway struggling, and Smart down I never really had a shot to win it anyway.  Points were closer than I thought they would be but I just couldn’t compete with his high end guys playing so many more games than mine.  It happens.  Boards were fluky but finishing the week number 1, without Nurkic, means it’s a category I’m no longer searching for.  This team is getting dangerously close to punting assists, at least against the top teams.  Lillard was fine but it just isn’t happening with the rest.  I’d like to fix this but I’m not sure how without trading away one of my core keepers.  Maybe Beverley will help some, maybe I’ll be ok when Smart returns.  For now though there’s simply nothing I can do about it.  Steals were terrible, miserable, atrocious, well I guess compared to the rest of the league they weren’t too bad, that means next to nothing though since I lost the category this week.  For a bit of reference my top steals guy was the last guy on my roster, Garrett Temple.  Somehow my team finished as the top shot blocking team in the league.  Porzingis is amazing and all and how about Muscala as my #2 shotblocker?  But what really did it was 9 guys having multiple blocks, for comparison sake the closest team was about a Porzingis away (1 Porzingis = 13 blocks apparently). All of that without Nurkic means blocks might eventually turn into one of my top categories.  TOs are a strength, not that it mattered much this week since I couldn’t have lost the category if I tried.

I have no real trade negotiations going on currently.  I had a few offers out there that weren’t getting any response so it’s time to move on.  There isn’t anyone in particular I’m trying to move but I feel like I have a few under-25 guys who I’d trade for a veteran with guaranteed minutes.

A bit of good news on the injury front finally.  Beverley is back and starting and it couldn’t have come at a better time.  I’m not expecting a miracle or anything but Beverley with 32 minutes is pretty close to a top-100 player and the high end steals fits one of my greatest needs.  I sure am glad no one was buying when I was selling him for pennies on the dollar, and at $10 there’s still a bit of keeper potential there if he can keep his starters minutes into next year.  The Smart and Nurkic injuries are currently being measured in weeks and all I can do is be patient.  I did get an offer for Nurkic this week but I can’t imagine he’s going anywhere.  The offer would have to be absurd for me to even consider it.

The bottom of my lineup quite possibly had it’s most productive week.  Gerald Green was great with Deng out and even though Deng should be back soon Green has solidified his place in the Heat rotation and might soon get removed from the ‘bottom of my lineup’ designation.  Trevor Booker made a very good spot start for Favors and is still getting 18-20 minutes when everyone is healthy.  His shot has been terrible this year (I don’t really care though) but he’s contributed nicely in steals, blocks, and boards, and hasn’t missed a FT yet.  Still a solid hold.  Austin Rivers is getting 20-24 minutes with Paul and Redick back and although his FT% drives me crazy at times he’s still scoring and stealing and rarely turning it over.  At 23 – $1 he’s looking more and more like a keeper, especially with the 35 year old Crawford in the last year of his contract.  Rivers is basically giving what I was hoping to get from Archie Goodwin who I kept for $1 and later released.  This pastMonday I added Muscala due to Splitter going down with a hip and it payed off so much better than I anticipated.  A 4-game week of 3/28/16/3/2/7 for the 2nd to last guy on my bench is about as good as I could have possibly asked for.  Splitter is apparently still in pain so obviously there is no time table for his return.  I’ll be holding Muscala until the wheels fall off and at 24 – $1 there’s actually a smidge of keeper potential too.  The 18th man (AKA the IL replacement) this past week was Temple.  It looks like he’s a starter when Beal is down but only about a 12-minute player when Beal is healthy.  It’s unfortunate since I really need his steals, oh well, I’m sure there’s someone better (and younger) out there to gamble on.  OK, so Mbah a Moute isn’t much younger but there’s a chance he can run away with the SF job for the Clippers, and in this league minute upside is as good as any other.

This week I’m up against a team in the bottom half of the standings.  He’s got some great youth (McCollum, Giannis, Randle, Turner) and some good veterans (DJordan, Millsap, Korver, Kanter) but after that the minutes start to disappear quickly which hopefully means my 1-week losing streak will end abruptly.

3. HateUsCauseTheyAnus  (31-14-0)

FAAB Remaining: $82  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

4. JB Gilpin – Razzball  (25-17-3)

FAAB Remaining: $1  FAAB Moves this week: Lamar Patterson ($0)

Wow, just the most fortunate week I think my squad has ever had in the 2+ years of the REL.  I took down the defending champ 6-2-1, for the biggest win of any matchup of the week.  Lots of bounces went my way, including just an absurd turnaround in TO.  I was losing 29-2 on Monday.  29 to 2!!!!!!  Then had 7 guys produce through Sunday with really good stats, and only amass a single total TO.  Yappers and I then played some line-up chicken, with both of us ending up benching our final 2 players to wash the cat 71-71.  For the first time in a while, I won REB fueled by a magical week by Jon Leuer.  I love him.

Big trade – biggest trade I’ve made this year and likely the biggest I’ll make all year – shipping off Ibaka for depth.  Both Slim and Kap hated it, but I like it for my team.  I sent Ibaka ($40 and unkeepable for me) + E’Twaun Moore + Lance Thomas (final two roster spots, although both of course had good games over the weekend) for Jeremy Lamb + Ian Mahinmi + Joakim Noah.  Noah at $22 is an obvious rental, but Lamb at $11 and Mahinmi at $7 are both possible keepers next year.  Plus I help my overall depth, particularly up front and in REB.  I don’t lose much, if any in BLK, add more scoring, and effectively punt FT% with Mahinmi and Noah next to Whiteside.  I didn’t plan to punt, but I think I’ve won FT% once this year, so I figure it’s not worth trying to fix.  I feel like my team is the best and deepest it’s been in our league history.  At this point last year, I was well under .500 and made the playoffs (tough schedule), but I’m getting through it this year with a much stronger record.  Kawhi becoming a true superstar is obviously a big boost.

I was surprised no one went for Lamar Patterson on the wire, my first add since I dropped all my FAAB week one.  I like having player stacks, but lost P.J. Hairston (stacking him and Lamb for SF mins) for L-Patt.  Hairston just doesn’t do enough, even though he looks like a capable NBA player out there.  I just need Patterson to not be sent back down to the D-League, as his last 6 games have been very REL worthy.  I am now Team Patterson!

5. Scurry to the Left  (25-20-0) 

FAAB Remaining: $99  FAAB Moves this week: Brandon Rush ($1)

6. Martyball – IFBL  (25-20-0)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

7. Heat Apologist  (25-20-0)) 

FAAB Remaining: $76  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

8. I Ain’t No Jok(ic)  (24-20-1)

FAAB Remaining: $92  FAAB Moves this week: Anthony Tolliver ($5)

At one point on the weekend I was down 2-7 to Heat Apologist and things, despite being close in many cats, were not looking good for me. My guys stepped it up on Sunday though with everyone having solid games for the most part. I ended up with a 5-4 win, thank goodness, though if Paul George could have out-rebounded Lavoy Allen, or had a big assist night it could have been 6-3 or 7-2. Still, I’ll take it against a tough team with my guys yet again missing a bunch of games (12 more GP lost to injury this week).

This may be a little longer than normal, but lets take a quick run through my struggling team right now and get a feel for where everyone is.

Starting with the guards. Rose continues to struggle, but at least he’s healthy at the moment. He shot 30% this week, but, he did hit 3 from deep and dish out 11 assists in his two games. Schroder made Rose look like a marksmen by shooting an astounding 23% from the field with only 1 three, but chipped in some assists and 6 steals in his 17 minutes per game. Shaun Livingston is what we thought he was, a low end serviceable point guard. He managed 9 assists and shot over 50% so I can’t complain. Oladipo is no longer a starter, which I can only hope doesn’t last as it’s a little crazy to have your best player coming off the bench, even for Scott Skiles. Even so, he managed a decent 70/21/19 line with a few 3s and steals chipped in. What’s most troubling about Oladipo’s line this week though is that his 21 rebounds actually led my team! To sum up, my guards have a LOT of ongoing issues right now.

The wings. Led by Paul George and his team leading 16 threes and 112 points. For good measure he also threw in 20 boards and shot 55% from the field and 87% from the line on high volume for both (including 17 FTA on Sunday). All of this in just 3 games played! After that you’ve got Middleton putting up a team leading 20 assists and 8 steals, along with 14 threes, and shooting 51%/82%. DeRozan gave me 69 points, 13 assists, a solid 83% from the line and nothing else really. Otto Porter tried his best to outdo Dennis Schroder by shooting 28% from the field, but he did give me 5 threes and 5 steals. Lastly, DeMarre Carroll managed a weak line other than 6 threes and 4 steals. I need to see more from these last 3 guys, and of course Dunleavy when he comes back, but at the moment the wings are my strength.

Lastly, my bigs. What’s left of them anyway. DMo is still out, as is Jonas. Ajinca is gone after seemingly falling out of the rotation for some unknown reason with 2 points and no other stats this week. What I’m left with is a struggling and injured Nerlens Noel. Nobody on my team is under performing as much as Noel, and it’s not even close. Though Mozgov is doing his best to stay in the conversation by shooting 14% in his one healthy appearance. Then there’s the good. Jokic is starting and playing well, if inconsistent, with a 30/14 line at a team high 60% from the field. JaMychal Green continues to be a coach favourite as seemingly the first guy off the bench now for the Grizzlies. He chipped in 30/14 with a bit of everything else too. Finally we’ve got Aaron Gordon who continues to flash his upside despite only getting 20 minutes a game. He put up 27 points with a few threes and led my team with 6 blocks and 21 rebounds. Surprisingly my bigs are holding down the fort for now. I don’t think it’ll last much longer though as the rebounds Jonas gives me are sorely missed at the moment.

On the wire this week I needed to replace Alex Ajinca with another big, which ends up being Anthony Tolliver for $5. It was either him or Nicholson, so I’m fine with that. I notice Slim tried to grab him back for $3, so it’s a good thing didn’t just throw $1 at Tolliver like I considered doing. This upcoming week I have yet another tough matchup versus Martyball this time. I actually lead Martyball in 7 of the 9 categories so far this season, and I would have beat him 7-2 last week, but even having said that, I’m less than confident I can win this one given the current state of my team. Basketball Monster certainly doesn’t think I will. Anything can happen though, so here’s hoping for a solid week.

9. Yappers  (24-20-1)

FAAB Remaining: $51  FAAB Moves this week: Jordan Mickey ($1)

At this point I don’t know what to think. Yeah I lost to JB 2-6.

Maybe it is just the flukiness of head-to-head from week to week since the previous weeks Yappers would have defeated the previous week JB team 6-3. Maybe it was a schedule thing as my Pau Gasol had a two day week. Maybe I have just been unlucky. If I look year-to-date stats of the teams ahead of me and convert them to head-to-head, the only team I am losing to is Anus at 4-5.

But I am inclined to think that it is really quite simple. If Kevin Martin and Tyson Chandler are truly showing their age and continue playing like dog sh* throughout the year, Yappers is more of a pretender than contender and I will be selling off Marc Gasol for keepers near the deadline. But if it is just slumps that they eventually snap out of, I am good. Keeping my fingers crossed, but hoping for the latter.

But I did make a couple of moves. The trade to me was a no brainer. Joe Young was a project, and a redundant one with RJ Hunter. I knew I could find other equally good projects on the WW (which I did). So to me the trade  boiled down to my injured Iman Shumpert who at $3 has some keeper value for a $21 Zach Randolph who probably is not a keeper but fills a definite need on my team for rebounds and scoring as well as PF eligibility this year.

Which brings me to Jordan Mickey. Towards the end of the week as I was watching Wes Johnson turn back into a pumpkin, I had the though of instead of playing musical chairs with the WW that I should replace Joe Young with another project. Who knows, maybe I can get a jump on finding the next Hassan Whiteside. After doing due research, my top ranked project led the NCAA in blocks per game last year and is leading the D league averaging 4.5 blocks per game for my Maine Red Claws (yes I a Mainuh) this year. Me likey. Welcome 2nd round 2015 Celtics draft pick Jordan Mickey joining 1st round 2015 Celtics draft pick RJ Hunter as Yappers projects.

I figure best case is the Celtics make a trade for some stud (looking at you DeMarcus Cousins) and both RJ and Mickey are in some team’s rotation by trade deadline. I mean really, Jordan Mickey being blocked by Tyler Zeller, Jonas Jerebko, and the corpse of David Lee.

Maybe if there is someone on the WW I really, really believe will help my team for the rest of the year I will end up  swapping one of these projects out. But I figure that if having two projects on my team at this time costs a playoff spot, the issue is not really the projects but the underperforming veterans. So that is that.

10. Foreign Affairs  (24-21-0)

FAAB Remaining: $93  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

Well a crazy weekend and likely upcoming week as I move into a new apartment has left me a little off my fantasy game I’ll try and stay on top of it enough this coming week to not fall behind.  My trade for Russell went through and the I wasn’t expecting it but was glad to make it when it was presented to me trade of $21 Zach Randolph for $3 Iman Shumpert and $1 “Mighty” Joe Young (anybody else remember that 90s Gorilla movie?) left my team quite a bit weaker then it had been but it still managed to pull of my third 4-5 loss of the year.  Iman showed some positive signs in his change of scenery to Cleveland last year and is still quite you that for that $3 cost he’ll fit in nicely with $4 Kidd-Gilchrist as my cheap wing combo that I hope are just slow developers and can really become great value if they step their games up when they return from injury. If not well there still cheap for there production, and Joe Young looks like hes out of the rotation this year but Indiana’s back court doesn’t scream long term solution and he’s had positive buzz so as a $1 keeper he fits in well next to Saric as my hold and see what they are like next year group.

Tried to get Luc Richard Mbah a Moute but was out big by Slim (shakes fist), thought about bidding higher but I didn’t want to spend to much after one pedestrian game and I feel like Doc’s going to keep that SF spot rotating till a potential trade to bring someone in, hopefully I don’t regret the choice.

I go up against Heat Apologist this week and expect to get quite the beatdown unless Lee continues his creeping improvement and retirement tour Kobe puts up some big games….might make a barn with all those bricks but as long as he gets counting stats.  Plus don’t look now but Gorgui Deng almost put up 3 double doubles last week with Sam starting to realize he’s good, yeah no shit Sherlock, so that’s got me all excited despite the stench Paul Pierce’s corpse is giving off on my roster, Hey John Jenkins since your not doing anything at the moment mind moving him outside to get some air, man him and Kobe make me feel like I’m running a retirement home.

11. Hardenoutherr4apimp  (21-24-0)

FAAB Remaining: $83  FAAB Moves this week: Gerald Henderson ($5)

12. High as Greg Kite  (20-24-1)

FAAB Remaining: $83  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

Things are starting to look a little better in the High as Greg Kite camp, going 13-4 the past two weeks after starting at a horrific 7-20 clip.   Most of that differential has to do with the opposition, but my team is starting to fill the stat sheet a little more lately.  With Curry and Harden anchoring the squad (at 62.5% of the total salary cap), my team is built to the classic stars & scrubs model.  However, some of those $1 guys are starting to pan out- Covington is a monster at 3PT/Steals (to complement Curry/Harden), Jae Crowder is Covington lite (in fantasy terms- minus the TO), Clint Capela and TJ Warren are looking to be steals from last year’s draft.  Dwight Powell is a stud-in-waiting provided the PT continues.  Outside of this group, I picked up Jahlil Okafor in the draft for $25- most folks were down on him due to the perceived killer FT %, but he’s a stud true post player who’s only 20 and is only going to get better, as long as he stops picking fights outside of the douchiest bar in my hometown.  Some food for thought on who he reminds me a bit of:

  1. Karl Malone (Age 22 season):  50% FG, 48% FT, 14.9 PTS, 8.9 REB, 1.3 ST, 0.5 BLK, 3.4 TO
  2. Okafor (Age 20 season):  46% FG, 68% FT, 17.5 PTS, 8.2 REB, 0.3 ST, 1.6 BLK, 2.9 TO

Laugh the comparison off if you want, but he’s already a top post offensive threat at 20 years old- his blocks are higher than anticipated and his FT % actually isn’t bad (and having Curry/Harden on the roster can make the difference up anyway).

The real challenge for me at the moment is depth.   I only have arguably 9 guys playing any meaningful minutes, and I’m not going to compete if it stays that way- even with Curry and Harden playing out of their minds.  While sticking around the middle of the pack this year looks to be in the cards (still have Brandon Jennings and Wroten coming back later this month), 2016-17 is when I’m hoping to compete.  If Bobby Portis starts getting the PT he deserves, and any of Dakari Johnson, Kevon Looney or Cameron Payne can work into the rotations by next year, I think I’ll have a shot.  Joel Embiid of course is another wild card, but he’s just a lottery ticket at this point.

13. Hoopus Alleyoopus  (20-24-1)

FAAB Remaining: $87  FAAB Moves this week: Nick Collison ($11)

Lost 3-6 this week after losing the blocks category Sunday night by one block. I hope TJ Warren gets a lump of coal in his sticking, or a lump of something anyway. Still awaiting the return of Kyrie and Pek, would be a great early Christmas present to get either of them back in the next two weeks, even if only for 10 minutes a game. Along that note, was able to get a warm body on FAAB in Nick Collison who at least contributes something on the stat sheet. Lastly, I just want to point out how awesome Rajon Rondo has been over the past 2 weeks. 12.3 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 13.3 APG, 1.3 SPG, .481 FG%. A Barry Horowitz self-pat on the back for myself.

14. Greek Freaks  (20-25-0)

FAAB Remaining: $40  FAAB Moves this week: Aron Baynes ($1)

15. Pete Nice – Razzball (18-27-0)

FAAB Remaining: $83  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

16. The Nature Boy  (17-27-1)

FAAB Remaining: $80  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

17. Niko-Cola  (16-28-1)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

What a miserable beginning to the season. We just lost yesterday thanks to Batum’s 9 turnovers…. That’s nearly a triple double the wrong way yikes. But we shouldn’t have even been in the fight. We only beat 5 teams tying two others. I have to believe it will get better particularly with the trades we made. This week we traded for Ibaka selling low on Noah, High on Lamb, and just selling Mahinmi. Lamb was probably the toughest to let go, but looking at his numbers it seems like there is some regression coming. He is shooting 52% from the field this season. For his career he is 43% shooter. We are betting on an extended stay below 40% percent to balance the scales . This combined with a diminished keeper value with the return of MKG next season made it a bit easier. Serge likely isn’t keepable at his current performance, but the Thunder are the best with him playing and he offers similar stats to Mahinmi and Noah combined. We Also picked up Lance Thomas and Etwan Moore. Applying Doc Rivers philosophy for player acquisition and playing time Moore must have torched Hoiberg in the college ranks. #CoolStoryGlenn

We actually had a money bid in this week, but fell a little short which we expected. We ended up losing on all of our bids which was a less than desirable out come for us. This week we welcome Yappers to town whom we are a combined 17-27-1 against on the season. Recently it has been better, tying him last week 4-4-1. A full week from newly acquired Dirk, Ibaka, Deng, Moore, Thomas, and Chalmers will give as a better idea of where we stand. Hopefully it will be much better than 17th and 8.5 games out of the final playoff spot. The roster revisions are likely not settled as we shorted ourselves a center in the Ibaka trade, feel free to engage or make offers.

18. The Chosen Ones  (15-30-0)

FAAB Remaining: $20  FAAB Moves this week: Andrew Nicholson ($15)

19. Cigar Smoking Monkey  (14-31-0)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

20. No Glove No Love  (14-31-0)

FAAB Remaining: $96  FAAB Moves this week: n/a