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I wish I could be more excited about heading into an epic 2-week ASB showdown, but I’m in a little bit of a sports depression right now…  You know how we sometimes say we can be your fantasy therapists in the comments?  I need coddling, Razzball Nation!  Not only did the Panthers lose, but my injury-riddled team isn’t quite healthy enough to survive a drubbing by Anus.  That sounds all sorts of wrong!  Fairly quiet week on the wire, but here’s how week 15 went down in the REL:

RAZZBALL ELITE LEAGUE

1. HateUsCauseTheyAnus  (88-45-2)

FAAB Remaining: $1  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

After this week’s 7-2 victory, I’m still sittin pretty at the top, so I figured it was time to get a recap in! Plus, I had a pretty massive trade go down this week. I swapped Millsap, Rubio, and Shabazz Muammad for Westbrook, Aldridge, and Vonleh. This is a pretty clear, win now, type trade. I took a fairly solid hit in salary, but I’m happy getting Westbrook back at $58, since I won’t be keeping LBJ next year.

This week, I take on JB’s injured squad, that is still managing to limp into the last playoff spot. My team is pretty much punting blocks and TOs, so I doubt I can take either of those. Especially, with Hassan on the other side this week. A 7-2 win would suit me just fine though, since I’m still holding onto a solid 3.5 game margin over 2nd place. This is probably a make or break week for JB though, with a whole slew of teams nipping at his heels for that last spot!

Currently, none of my players are injured, with McCullough finally making his debut tonight! Definitely looking forward to that. I would recommend watching him if any of you guys reading are in deep leagues. The biggest contributor to my success this year has been that I simply traded injured players to rebuilding teams, instead of staying attached. Even if I did have to take a slight value hit.

That wraps it up for me this week!

– Anus out!

2. Yappers  (84-48-3)

FAAB Remaining: $49  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

I view anything less than a 7-2 victory against teams in the bottom third as a sort of disappointment. Last week a 0.0002 difference in FG% nailed the 7-2 victory. So we are good.

The bottom part of my roster (Kevin Martin, Devin Harris, and O.J. Mayo) are all injured. This is beginning to become a concern, so towards fixing this, I made what I considered to be a competitive bid (replacing the injured player I have the most concern about) on Lavoy Allen that got Donald Trumped. That is ok, I was not going to bid so much that it would jeopardize acquiring someone I really wanted later on. The NBA trade deadline is coming up, and I hope that maybe some trades will open up playing time beyond the 16-18 minutes Mr. Allen is getting when there are no injuries. Maybe (please, please) a trade will open up playing time for Jordan Mickey.

I was sort of rooting for the Carolina Panthers in the Super Bowl last night, but had no special interest in the game. Other than (being a Patriots fan) I am left with the nagging feeling of “What if Gostkowski had made that extra point” during the offseason. But anyway, pitchers and catchers report in two weeks. Go Red Sox.

And in the contests that really mattered, The National Anthem continued its dominance over The Halftime Show quite handily (the last time The Halftime Show won was when The Who Performed). And the Doritos Ultrasound commercial was easily the best ad, the objections of NARAL notwithstanding. But I digress.

3. I Ain’t No Jok(ic)  (84-49-2)

FAAB Remaining: $41  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

The playoffs are getting closer, and my team is starting to roll the last 6 weeks. Here’s to hoping they haven’t peaked too early, as a 45-8 record over that period is great, but it would be better in the playoffs. A couple more injuries have crept in during my latest 8-1 victory. DeMarre Carroll was already out, and he was joined this week by Lance Thomas and Nene, as well as Dennis Schroder apparently. Nene is a walking disaster waiting to happen, and Lance is probably the 17th or 18th guy on my roster anyway. Schroder is a bit of a key for me so hopefully he didn’t suffer a concussion or anything when he cut his chin. He should be good to go though.

The top 6 teams are starting to look like they’re pretty solidified, even with 4 matchups still left to play in the season. With an 8 game gap between 5th and 7th it seems like there’s really only one playoff spot up for grabs, and right now JB is in control with a 4 game lead. BUT, he has to play the number one team this week and the guys behind him, of which there appear to be 3, will be coming after him hard. As for my team, I’m only a half game out of getting a first round bye now, which I think would be huge in this league. Of course, I still have to face the number one team too, so my chance will come soon enough.

As far as how my guys are playing at this point? If we’re looking at the last month (avg. rank according to BBM in brackets) you’ve got the really, really good of Paul George (13), Nerlens Noel (15), Victor Oladipo (24), and surprisingly Nikola Jokic (26) despite only getting 23 MPG. Then there’s the really good of DeRozan (46), Porter (50), Willie Cauley-Stein (68), JV (73), and Middleton (77). The next tier are still pretty respectable with Shaun Livingston (116) presumably in large part due to Golden State blow-outs, Aaron Gordon (120), Derrick Rose (127), and the oft injured Nene (128). Which leaves the slightly disappointing Dennis Schroder (205), the very disappointing Timofey Mozgov (220), the forever mediocre Lance Thomas (239), the hopefully up and coming Tim Hardaway (285) and the still injured DeMarre Caroll who hasn’t played in the last month. Overall I think this is a very deep team. It’s also very young with 9 out of 18 guys on my roster 23 and under. They are mostly my key, already producing guys too. Of the players I’d consider in my top 12 keepers the only 4 guys over 23 years of age are Khris Middleton (24), Paul George (25), Demar DeRozan (26), and DeMarre Carroll (29). The future looks bright. Let’s hope this season is just as bright in the end.

4. Martyball – IFBL  (84-50-1)

FAAB Remaining: $76  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

5. Slim – Razzball  (83-51-1

FAAB Remaining: $9  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

That’ll do it.  I’m in the playoffs for the 3rd year in a row!  A 7-2 victory vs the then #7 team and I now sit 8 games out of 7th place and only 2 games off of having a 1st round bye, and I don’t play anymore playoff teams.  I’m still having a few injury concerns.  Alec Burks is still down but I should get him back well before playoff time.  Henson is down with a back injury and it’s very concerning at this point, but I’ve built up some good depth and it wouldn’t hurt to have someone with that INJ designation once Burks returns anyway.  That’s the good part.  The bad part is that the bottom 2 guys on my roster are Trevor Booker who’s still playing 18-24 min a night at a position of need with Henson down, and Kobe who was arguably my best player last week, so I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do if everyone was healthy.

It’s time to go through my strengths and weaknesses now that I’m a playoff team and attempt  to figure out how to improve my strengths enough to actually win in the playoffs.  FG% is a punt, yeah I won it last week but I’m dead last on the year.  FT% is middle of the pack and a category that I desperately want to improve.  For the year all of the playoff teams are above me.  Not good, but it has improved with all of my recent trades.  3PTM is a major strength and something I strive to win given that I’m punting FG%.  I’m 2nd on the year and had my best week last week with 73 total.  I’m top 5 on the year in points scored but I’ve had major improvements here lately and it is definitely a strength, although it’s no better than average against the other playoff teams.  I’ve been a solid rebounding team most of the year but it’s another category that’s seen improvement and on the year there’s only 1 playoff team above me.  This is a category I want to win.  I’m middle of the pack in assists on the year but that doesn’t tell half the story.  I’ve added a ton lately and the 170 I had last week was a season high.  Another category I expect to win in the playoffs.  Steals are a weakness, there’s just no way around it.  If I were looking for one more trade it would be for a high end steals specialist, but honestly I expect to lose this category in the playoffs so I should probably stop trying to improve it at the peril of my other stats (esp FT% and Points).  I lead the league in blocks on the year and it’s only gotten better with the addition of Bogut.  Henson being down puts me in the middle of the playoff teams but if he returns then blocks should be a major strength.  Finally TOs, one of my strengths all year.  There are 6 teams with more TOs on the year than me.  Those are 6 of the top 7 teams.  I expect to win that category.

Strengths: 3s, Reb, Ast, Blk, TOs

Average: FT%, Pts

Weaknesses: FG%, Stls

6. JB Gilpin – Razzball  (77-53-5)

FAAB Remaining: $1  FAAB Moves this week: Andrea Bargnani ($0)

Well, it’s nice to get back into the W column, getting a 6-3 win.  Tough loss by 4 TO and 28 REB, which is a respectable margin unless you missed a game from Whiteside and got virtually nothing from Mahinmi.  But at least they’re healthy (crosses fingers), and if Brandon Knight cam return right after the break alongside KCP who is certain to, I’m all the sudden healthy again.  Unfortunately two brutal weeks of injuries prior to this week – giving me a nice 5-13 record against lower seeded teams – puts me in a tough race to hold onto the 6 spot.

Rough time to play the #1 seed with [at least] half of the 2-week matchup without two key G.  Big weeks from my key players could give me an upset, but even with a 5-4 win, Niko is playing the #19 seed and is going to make up some games on this thin 4 game lead.  Time for my guys to step it up!

7. Niko-Cola  (74-58-3) 

FAAB Remaining: $80  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

Well, we have arrived. 10 weeks ago we were sitting in 17th place in cellar and an afterthought. We got Niko-Cola’s carbonation bubbles popping and we have climbed to 7th in the standings a mere 4 games behind JB for the final playoff spot.  The landscape of things have become pretty interesting as both JB and us play the #1 team in back to back weeks. It seems that there are 4 teams competing for the final playoff spot, but Slim has two tough matchups that could open the door. We picked up 4.5 games on 6th place during that 10 week span and we must now pick up 4.5 more in the next 4 weeks to make the show… Yikes!

With four weeks left in the season you look back at the mistakes you have made to see what there consequences were in the long run. Our most glaring error to this point was in week 1 against JB. We owned K.J. McDaniels and Ty Lawson was IR eligible. Hoping for upside we kept K.J. and left Ty on IR for the week even though he was playing. As a result of this we may have lost 1.5 games depending on what JB would have done. Those 1.5 games would be real nice right now… Particularly because it would not have just added them to our record, but subtracted them from the guy we are chasing. As one of the major advocates for the IR spot I find it funny that it may have cost us a playoff spot when it’s all said and done.

It’s the long week this week but during our next matchup we will face the top overall team. We will need a win that week to make the playoffs. Seeing as the 6 seed will being going through the higher ranked opponents no matter what we view it as the start of our playoff schedule. We will require 7 consecutive matchup wins to take down the title at this point and we are excited for the urgency!

With that being said we are looking to buy. If you are out of it or just falling out of the race let us know. We will take any help we can get against our big show down in two weeks/next matchup. Hopefully JB catching the top team on the long week will benefit us and not him!

Happy Hooping!

8. Scurry to the Left  (74-59-2)

FAAB Remaining: $98  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

9. Kap’s Team  (72-59-4)

FAAB Remaining: $94  FAAB Moves this week: Paul Pierce ($4)

10. Hard-N-Tha-Paint  (70-64-1)

FAAB Remaining: $18  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

11. Heat Apologist  (69-65-1)

FAAB Remaining: $0  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

12. High as Greg Kite  (68-64-3)

FAAB Remaining: $0  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

13. Hardenoutherr4apimp  (65-69-1)

FAAB Remaining: $62  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

14. Foreign Affairs  (56-79-0)

FAAB Remaining: $90  FAAB Moves this week: Orlando Johnson ($1)

15. Hoopus Alleyoopus  (55-78-2)

FAAB Remaining: $13  FAAB Moves this week: Lavoy Allen ($13)

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote one of these up. A lot of losses. Oh so many losses. Caused by the fact that the players I have chosen to round out my lineup are either injured, or suck so bad that unless an injury occurs on their team the coach would rather just not play them. Garnett: disaster. Pekovic: disaster. Mo Williams: disaster. My waiver pickups: never play the minute the join my team. So I was pretty discouraged and wondering if I wanted to continue playing in this league. If your team sucks, there is pretty much nothing you can do about it until the following year.

I don’t even remember how the trade talks started. I initially thought that punting FT% would be smart, but I didn’t carry it out all the way, and had other teams employing the same strategy so players that complimented my team were unavailable. I got Westbrook at 59 and Lopez at 22 for Drummond at 31 and Blake at 24. I was thinking more about the present than the future. I wanted to shake my team up and stop punting FT% and Russell Westbrook is awesome so why not get him if he is available.

Meanwhile, my team keeps stinking up the joint and racking up losses. I decide to play for next year. I had $145 in salary tied up in Westbrook, Kyrie, Brook Lopez and Rondo. I already knew I wasn’t keeping Aldridge for $36. I add Westbrook to the trading block, thinking that I will get some offers for him. I would have been cool keeping Westbrook at 59, but just wanted to see what was out there. HateUs was longing for his old love Westbrook and was also interested in Aldridge. I ended up getting Millsap at 28, Rubio at 30 and Muhammad at 1. So I basically got those 3 for next year at what I would have been paying to keep Westbrook. Which I believe is an awesome return. So now my core is Kyrie/Lopez/Millsap/Rondo/Rubio/Muhammad/Kyle Anderson/RHJ for 156. I feel a lot better now about the future of my team.

16. Pete Nice – Razzball  (51-82-2)

FAAB Remaining: $83  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

17. The Nature Boy  (47-86-2)

FAAB Remaining: $75  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

18. Cigar Smoking Monkey  (44-90-1)

FAAB Remaining: $100  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

19. No Glove No Love  (44-91-0)

FAAB Remaining: $64  FAAB Moves this week: n/a

20. The Chosen Ones  (43-92-0)

FAAB Remaining: $9  FAAB Moves this week: Mike Muscala ($3)