Fantasy Basketball Advice

There were a few notable headlines out of Dallas, the first of which that Kennedy was assassinated. Jumping ahead a few decades to Tuesday night, the Nets somehow managed to outplay the Mavericks, led by Brook Lopez‘s 38 points and 6 rebounds (in 36 minutes). While Lopez owners are gushing (sometimes literally, check your underpants), I would like to draw your attention to Kris Humphries. Sure, he deserves scorn for bringing the Kardashian family even more headlines, but this guy has been good at basketball. Against the Mavs, he scored ten points with 15 rebounds and three blocked shots. He is averaging 13.6 PPG and 10.5 RPG, and in the past 13 games, he has swatted away opponent’s shots twice or greater eight times.  That is some good stuff.

Rajon Rondo – Racked up 11 assists to go with…zero points?! In his last five games, he has scored 32, 35, 17, 5 and 0 points. At this rate, in his next game he will score in the wrong basket, much like I did when I was in 3rd grade. Hopefully it doesn’t haunt him the same way it … I’m sorry, it’s too painful to talk about.

Paul Pierce – 12/2/6 with 6 turnovers and 2-7 from behind the arc. Smooth move, Ex-lax.

Ray Allen – He scored 22 points but basically did nothing else. He had 1 rebound, 2 assists, no steals, and a turnover. It’s like he just camped in one spot all night and threw it up as soon as he got the ball.

Kyrie Irving – Produced a line of 24/4/3. The rest of the Cavs starters put up a line of 23/18/10. It’s too bad the Cleveland Rockers folded, they probably could have filled in and done a better job. Sorry, Kyrie.

Tristan Thompson – With 27 minutes off the bench, he tallied a double-double with 13 points and 10 boards. It’s his second in a row and third in four games. The only caveat is that during the one game he didn’t get a double-double, he scored not a once.

Golden State Warriors – “Home is full of lots of things that children shouldn’t touch. Home is full of bad things that can hurt you very much.” Well, being on the road didn’t help the Warriors, either. They shot for a lowly 34.1%, but the real kicker is the team collectively went 3-22 from behind the arc. Until now, I wasn’t sure it was possible to miss that many intentionally.

Brandon Rush – The only real bright spot for Golden State with 14 points, 7 assists, and mercifully didn’t chuck up any bricks from three point range.

Danny Granger – Shot for 25 points against the Warriors but not much else, dropping deuces in rebounds, assists and steals.

Roy Hibbert – The good doctor scored 12, grabbed nine, shared two and rejected three. I’m almost not sure what I just wrote.

Tyler Hansbrough – Who dis? I mean, Hansbrough dropped 8 buckets while going 6-6 from the free throw line to tally 15 points, in addition to 9 rebounds, all while playing a measely 16 minutes 14 seconds. Don’t race to the waiver wire yet, as the last time he earned more than five rebounds was February 4th. He’s also scored seven or fewer points in seven games this month.

Thaddeus Young – Thad had more than a smidgen of success on the night with 20 points, 8 rebounds and two blocks. The Warriors wish they had even a scintilla of the night Young had.

Jason Maxiell – When you have more turnovers (5) than points (4), you are not being very productive. As an aside, did you know that Maxwell House has been using “Good to the Last Drop” since 1917? That’s amazing!

Greg Monroe – Led the Pistons with 20 points and 8 boards, two shy of earning his fourth consecutive double-double. Like horseshoes and hand grenades, close enough.

Richard Hamilton – After missing a dozen games due to a sore right thigh, played nearly 17 minutes for 5/2/5. C.J. Watson also came back from a concussion repercussion but didn’t add much to the discussion, playing 7 minutes for 0/0/2.

Derrick Rose – A man possessed, he scored 32/2/9 with 3 steals. The only black mark was his 1-5 on three point attempts. Speaking of black, uh, things, I want this Lionel guy to talk to me about everything, everyday.

Chris Kaman – The athletic Brian Posehn had a great night, netting 17/11/5 with a block.

Mike Dunleavy – The athletic Paul Rudd led the Bucks from the bench with 28 points and three steals. He was also good for 5 of ten from behind the arc.

Ersan Ilyasova – The athletic James Franco produced 13/11/1 in 27 minutes. He has six double-doubles this month and came one point shy of two more DDs twice.

Brandon Jennings – The athletic…okay, I’ll stop. Jennings notched a season high in assists, coming up with a line of 14/4/10 plus one steal.

Trevor Booker – 20 points and 11 rebounds. The first time he reached double digits in both categories since February 10th, or 7 games ago for those who tally time in that manner.

JaVale McGee – WasN’t DynaMite, playing shy of 17 minutes and producing 4/6/0 with one block. I’ll chalk this up to rust, as he has been good for about 18 points and 10 rebounds over the past 2 weeks (although there has been a dip in scoring the past few games).

John Wall – Went balls to the Wall, accumulating a line of 19/5/15. The 7 turnovers weren’t pretty, but when you have 15 assists, that ratio kind of evens itself out. Of course, he’s had six nights of five or more turnovers this month, which isn’t thrilling unless you hate John Wall.

Kyle Lowry – His stats on the night read 26/3/5 a he picks up where he left off before the break. Yahoo! Fantasy Sports’ algorithm has him ranked 4th overall for the season thus far.

Jose Calderon – Netted seven points on 3 of 9 shooting but also collected seven assists on zero turnovers, so there’s that.

Ed Davis – Grabbed a season high 15 rebounds. It was also a career high. Who knows, it may end up being the most rebounds he ever gets in his entire professional career, so savor this moment, Ed Davis’ mom (if she reads Razzball (which she probably does (I mean, I would if I was her))).

Dirk Nowitzki – In the loss, led the team with 24 points and 10 boards, but interestingly only shot 7-11 from the free throw line (and he also missed one that didn’t count due to a lane violation). Okay, maybe “interestingly” was the wrong word to use there.

DeMarcus Cousins – Back from the break, all he did was produce 22/18/2 with a steal and a block. Your family always asks why you can’t be more like your Cousins.

Isaiah Thomas – Dropped 18/2/8, ho hum…in opposite world (the same place where no one cracks jokes about Rick Santorum’s sweater vests). His (Thomas, not Santorum) previous three games looked like this: 18/2/6, 24/3/5, 23/8/11. I know if he (Thomas, not Santorum) was on my waiver wire, I would be clicking to add him (Thomas, not…eh, you know) right now. Of course, Adam told you he was a “must own” on the 20th, and I wrote “now is the time to own him” on the 22nd, and Adam said to dip him in gravy on the 23rd, so really you should already own him…and a large supply of gravy.

Paul Millsap – Started, played close to 25 minutes, produced 5/2/4. Um…no?

Josh Howard – On Tuesday, 15/7/3 as a starter. His last two games, 19/6/2 and 12/7/1. My advice: play him while he’s getting minutes and earning stats. And maybe dip him in barbecue sauce.

Derrick Williams – Thought he was LeBron James on Tuesday night, generated 27 points, 5 rebounds and a block. Michael Beasley gave the same, minus the block. The other difference is Beasley is more likely to repeat the performance (or close enough), although he is too inconsistent for my tastes. Oh, yeah, and the five Timberwolves starters together tallied 37 points.

Kevin Love – On 4-13 shooting, including 0-2 from downtown, still managed 10/7/2.

Caron Butler – 2 points, ten shots taken. As the fruit say, Lolwut.

DeAndre Jordan – I am ignoring Blake Griffin’s 30 point explosion to point out that Jordan had 14 rebounds to go with his 14 points. It seems every pair of numbers I wrote tonight were identical, i.e. “five times in five games.” Ah, well. Anyway, he was averaging 6.2 RPG but has been up to 10.75 RPG since February 11th. Use that information for good, not evil.

In honor of the 61st All-Star Game, we’ve compiled every professional player to ever don an all-star jersey, and sized ‘em up according to number of all-star appearances. Cap takes the all-time cake, having appeared in 18 different contests (selected in 19).

The 1976 All–Star Game marked the highest total turnover from the year before of all the contests. Twelve of the 24 rostered selections were playing in their first All-Star Game and 14 of the 24 had not been in the ’75 game. Much of that had to do with the ABA/NBA merger just a year away and players jumping from one ship to the other – but not all of it.

Kevin McHale appeared in six All-Star Games without ever starting. Ray Allen never started in one either despite appearing in 10 of them. Both seem oddly fitting. Both were undeniable stars and among the best players ever to wear a Celtics NBA jersey, but neither were necessarily superstars. They were among the best second-options the game has ever seen, McHale moreso than Allen, who legitimately carried a few teams on his own.

Also, if you squint, you may notice that Anthony Mason, B.J. Armstrong and Jamaal Magloire were all all-stars at one point, which is cool until you start considering some of the players who never have been. Marcus Camby, for one, seems like he should have earned an all-star nod at some point in his career.

And speaking of B.J. (not, we’re not going there with it), the Chicago Bulls rostered three players in an all-star game only once and Michael Jordan was not involved, marking one of the weirdest all-star starting lineups in 62 years.

Before we get going, I just want to take a moment to thank Grey and Adam for giving me this opportunity to contribute to the site. This is my first post for Razzball and if you enjoy what I bring, and want to stick a feather in my fedora, then go ahead and do so in the comments. If you don’t, then you can also express your thoughts … somewhere else. So let’s get started, shall we?

Yes, we shall start … right after a quick pre-weekend (preekend!) announcement. Things just got real over at Razzball advertiser (Razzvertiser!) Daily Joust. Daily Joust is offering two freeroll contests for the 2012 NBA All-Star Game this Sunday: 1. $250 NBA All-Star Game Freeroll Contest (new users only), 2. Current Daily Joust Users NBA All-Star Game Freeroll (Winner earns a seat in $10,000 “Super Joust” Tourney), and 3. There is no three. You clearly weren’t reading carefully. The “Super Joust” Tournament takes place in April with $10k in prizes + 2 NBA Finals tickets. What’s not to love? (I mean besides Fergie? Fergie is not to be loved. Ever. Are we clear on this? Good. No go hit up the Joust!)

Now, on to Buy/Sell:

Man, that Blake Griffin is the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow, the snake’s rattle (wait, no one uses that one?). He owns the 2, 3, 4, and 5 spots on Sportscenter’s top 10 (second behind only a Jeremy Lin lay-up), his rebounding is elite, his post game is unstoppable; hell, he can even dunk over a low-end, mid-sized car! So why am I telling you, loyal Razzball reader, to sell the boy wonder? It’s simple; he is way overvalued by everyone and their mothers. Sure, the scoring and rebounding numbers are awesome and all, but what else is he really giving you? A decent FG% from a big man? A handful of assists? A FT% that only DeAndre Jordan and Andris Biedrins look up to? You know what player that sounds like? David Lee, and he won’t take a dump on your free-throw percentages either. Sure, Griffin could start blocking more shots, stealing more balls, and learning to make one of the most elementary shots in the game, the free throw; but I don’t see that happening this season. I have seen Griffin traded for the likes of an injured Carmelo Anthony or Rajon Rondo. Even if you could get a player the likes of David Lee along with another above-average player, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Ideally, you will want to wait until after Griffin dunks over the cast of the Biggest Loser this weekend during the dunk contest, as his value will be inflated even more. Remember, a monstrous Griffin dunk is worth just as many points as a weak Earl Watson lay-up. Now here are some other players you should buy or sell during this All-Star weekend:

BUY

Kenneth Faried – Faried has been starting in place of the injured Nene and he be doing what Nene do. We can call him Nene Jr. I wonder if they do each other’s cornrows before games? Oh yeah, basketball related info. Faried will give you points, boards, steals, and blocks, all while contributing solid percentages. His minutes have been inconsistent, but with a per-36 line of 16 points/13 boards/2.6 blocks, you will want to add him and hope Karl gives him more court time even after Nene’s return.

Gustavo Ayon – Another intriguing young talent who has surfaced after a solid veteran went down. Ayon has really turned it on recently, averaging 10/9.7/1.5 stl over his last six games. Carl Landry isn’t expected back for at least a couple of weeks, so Ayon should continue to produce around those levels. By the way, where have all these Hispanic players come from this season? Ayon, Ricky Rubio, Greivis Vasquez. Francisco Garcia: ”Hey! I’ve been here all along!”

Nikola Vucevic – The Sixers’ five spot has been a revolving door since Spencer Hawes went down with an Achilles injury (who would have ever thought a team would miss having Spencer Hawes healthy?). Well Vucevic stepped up in a big way on Wednesday, and has had a few solid games scattered throughout the past couple weeks. His .667/18/8/3 performance against Houston could be an outlier, but I’d pick him up and ask questions later. Remember what happened the last time you waited to grab a Nikola?

Alonzo Gee – The guy gets absolutely no love. Sure, no one actually watches Cavs’ games. I am still under the assumption that the team doesn’t exist and David Stern just simulates their games using NBA 2K12. Regardless, Gee continues to contribute night after night. He is currently in a bit of a funk, but he gets enough hustle stats to make up for that.

James Johnson – Speaking of guys who get no love… Johnson continues to be dropped like he’s hot, which you normally wouldn’t do, I guess Snoop Gizzle doesn’t play fantasy sports. Now I know Johnson doesn’t score a lot, but points aren’t the only category in fantasy hoops y’all! A player who blocks over a shot per-game, grabs over a steal per-game, contributes a little everywhere else, and who gets consistent minutes should be owned in more than 13% of leagues.

Arron Afflalo – Has dropped 20+ points in six of his last eight games. See, there is the scorer you drafted at the beginning of the year, he just needed the rest of the team to get injured first.

Jordan Crawford – Scored 32 points the other night, but it was against the Kings who gave up defense for lent. He did drop 20 on the Suns prior to that. Wait, what’s that? The Suns don’t play D either? Oh what the hell, just pick up Crawford because he gets very streaky and seems to be heating up.

SELL

Jrue Holiday – Dude has been putting up clunkers offensively throughout the month. Look at his player card, he hasn’t had three straight solid offensive performances as far as I can remember. Is it just me, or do players on well-rounded teams suck in fantasy? Well Holiday has been one of those players this season. We all know he is talented, which is why he will garner some value despite his inconsistent fantasy play. Don’t trade him for a Forever Lazy, but field offers.

Mo Williams – It was the general consensus that Williams would step up and fill the “aging guard” void left by Sir Chauncey Billups, especially with the way he was playing at the time. Instead, Mo has decided to spite you for thinking you could predict the future and shoot an abysmal 32% from the floor since the Billups injury. At this point, he is doing more harm than good to your roster and should be let go.

Baron Davis – Want another reason to love/hate Jeremy Lin? He courtblocked Davis from having any fantasy value, which made a lot of you angry/laugh. Before you curse/bless Lin for ruining/validating all the time B-Diddy spent stashed/not stashed on your bench, take a second to click the “drop” button and pick up a player who will actually help your team.

Things after nine weeks are continuing to move with less movement than Amar’e Stoudemire going for a rebound. Only one team chute ‘n’ laddered more than 10 spots this week. Van Gundy Death Stare (which I misread as Van Gundy’s Death Star every single week) dropped 11 spots this week, which was inevitably going to happen to any team stuck with Nene, Derrick Rose, Turkoglu’s rotting corpse and the entire Pacers rotation. Not sure how he’s going to fix The Nene Affair (which, bee tee dubya, would make an excellent R. Kelly album title), but Rose is back, which is better than Rose’s front.

It’s a short week this week, so we’re taking a break and will return for week 11, wherein Jeremy Lim will have played as many minutes in his career as Greg Oden has, the NBA will have created a DH-like position in which one player only plays defense on one end of the court, while the other just cherrypicks for easy layups, making Jared Jeffries and Amar’e Stoudemire giddy as hell and Jarrett Jack switches into the home jerseys of Portland and Toronto mid-game without anyone noticing.

Here’s the spreadsheet. Have a great weekend!